Art and Intuition
By Mel Vera Cruz
Commissioned by Kularts as one of the five visual artists to create and paint a diwata/deity for Streets of Diwata as part of the Lakbai Diwa project, Mel Vera Cruz shares his creative process, insights, and personal stories in this two-part blog.
Intuition
My major experience regarding INTUITION started when I was in high school. I never stopped drawing since I was 5. It was my refuge for my insecurities. I did a lot of pencil drawings, so when I got to high school, I tried inventing my insignia like what I saw on walls of high school gang graffiti in Manila. I just tried to imitate the art style not the lifestyle. I came up with that symbol at the center of my Mandala back in high school but my only meaning about that symbol was my name ‘M-E-L.’
Fast forward to 2005 when I got into Chiromancy or palm reading. I understand the basics but I’m not an expert. Once, I was reading the lines on my palm and lo and behold… the major lines as told by the ancients on my palm resembles the insignia I designed in 1979. I said to myself, Holy shit!!! I was able to predict my path without even knowing about it. My heart was pounding when I saw this and tried searching for meaning. It took me a while, but I figured that when I tilt the sign vertically and added one line at the bottom and one at the top, it becomes the six-pointed star which basically mean “as above/so below.” Male/Female. Black/white. It is so simple but so deep because it is like a balance. I think it is the western version of the Yin and Yang. There is a big imbalance when we don’t acknowledge the dark side.
My own interpretation why these lines happened on my palm was my letting go of reason. I trusted the universe and was very happy with the results. Hence the almost perfect shape.
We are all logical creatures because of the mind. The mind tells us to be scared and make us stop in our tracks. I was so Heart based up to now because I never avoided anything specially when it’s in front of me even if it stinks. I never think too much because I understood that whatever is in front of me was meant for me. It was there for a reason. I know now that the heart has a mind of its own too! And I listen to it A LOT! I don’t avoid what most people do, so those unusual experiences gave me insights that “normal people” cannot and will never see because their minds told them not to. I was a drug addict/alcoholic for almost 3 decades and, for me, it wasn’t wasted because it was like a baptism of knowing and experiencing
isolation/discrimination, being an outcast, and knowing the deepest pain and sorrow. Now, what could be harder and more painful? This made me balanced because I did not let fear or logic stop me from what my soul needed. I am not scared of the dark anymore. I trusted my heart and dug deep into my own abyss and it all clicked like magic! Like Yin and Yang.
Humans tend to look only through what our senses understand. We are all basically the “Doubting Thomases.”
I watched a TV show proudly saying everything is quantifiable. That is certainly true but I believe quantifying does not explain everything. To quantify for me is a very Yang or Male energy because it needs to know. It does not trust. But that is “false power” because it makes us think we’re in control but in reality, it is an illusion. We are all like babies in a womb. The universe is like our incubator.
Also, whenever we quantify, it creates ranks, and sorry for my language, but that’s what I think fucks us all up. Now, there is discrimination, castes, higher, darker, whiter, lower, etc. If there is “pretty” there must be “ugly.” We become judgmental as a result. I get into a lot of arguments with people who are too logical because they never understood what I was trying to explain.
Child birth itself and the movement of the galaxies are mysteries. Yes we were able to find new answers… the Big Bang, etc. but, as they say, the more we know, the less we understand. Where is the gasoline? Who caused that Big Explosion? Batteries? Where does it store its memory? Is it alive? I just say let go of Logic and Let It Be sometimes and it will take us a long way. We must let it (INTUITION) carry us away and accept that wrong is sometimes right.
I used the Uterus as a symbol of the womb because for me the Womb is like the Universe. The Subconscious. It is the incubator of all that the mind can perceive. Also, Night time or the Ocean. Something unknown. The womb is a direct representation of the Divine Feminine. It is our true nurturer and protector. These symbols that I’m using represent TRUST which is the main ingredient for INTUITION. Being at the moment and not worrying about the past or present. It is the balancer. All the galaxies in space Trust the Force, that’s why, for me, they form like a spiral that becomes spark that becomes light. My colors are playful and bright because that is my experience. I was influenced by Jeepneys—a fusion of our very own soul and “America.”
This Mandala for me is connected to my Ancestors because I really feel we as Artists are our Ancestors’ Reps today in this present time and dimension. I try to represent with all my heart and make our Roots’ knowledge relevant for today’s consumption. We are the neo Healers and Shamans of the negative effects of Capitalism. We bring back the Soul on each human that we lost from modern day-to-day struggles through the act of our art making.
Here is my image. I chose this classic old picture of a Filipina as my deity. For me, she represents our connection from the present to the past. She has no name to convey “intuition” and the message of the unknown.
The divine feminine is always disregarded because it is misunderstood. People fear what they don’t see and understand. It is the dark side. Night. The womb. America and capitalism are obviously a yang force that’s why what we are doing is necessary. We are like saying don’t be scared of the dark. I really believe we as artists are tools (light) to open this new path of understanding patience, acceptance, and seeing the wisdom in being quiet and an open mind. Receptive. We hold their hands while walking in the wild side.
Anting-anting at Kapalaran
Carlos Villa and Santiago Bose. Photos courtesy of Mel Vera Cruz.
Before I was introduced to Vedic astrology, Santiago Bose baptized me to anting-anting (sorcery) kasi “kinulam” nya kami noon sa Baguio (because he “hexed” us then in Baguio).
(Left to right) Juan Carlos Quintana, Manuel Ocampo, Santiago Bose, unidentified woman from Pusod Center, Mel Vera Cruz, and England Hidalgo at Pacific Bridge Gallery, Oakland.
My brother told me that he and Carlos Villa were having a workshop in Oakland back in 2000. I was one of the attendees. With the city’s permission, we burned papers (in a bonfire) symbolizing the manongs and made them as offerings to the manongs who passed. Inintroduce nya ako to anting-anting (he introduced me to anting-anting). I was a skeptic and didn’t believe it before, like most people, but when we visited him in Baguio, wow!
(Left to right) Mel Vera Cruz, Nancy Hom, and Carlos Villa at their group exhibit, Amor Fati, at the Joyce Gordon Gallery, Oakland.
Here’s the story:
After we visited Santi, we (my wife now and her friend) were driving back to manila from Baguio and did not realize we were driving backwards for more than an hour! While driving backwards, the three of us saw sign posts that we saw already but just shrugged it off without thinking until it became soooo obvious. We turned back feeling still a bit dizzy about something we don’t understand. We weren’t high or anything. The kicker was that right after that happened… we received a text message from Santi saying “…naniniwala na ba kayo sa anting-anting??? (now, do you believe in anting-anting???)” All our jaws dropped to the floor of the car. From then on, I opened my mind to things like these even in aswangs, kapres etc… I have friends that swear they saw aswangs… and I believe them now.
An altar created as a homage to Santi Bose after he passed away by Kwatro Kantos ( artists England Hidalgo, Marcius Noceda, Carlo Ricafort, and Mel Vera Cruz with curator Lian Ladia) during Dia Delos Muertos at the Latino Cultural Center on Mission Street, San Francisco.
Another revelation I had was when I was reading about palmistry (Cheiromancy) which Cheiro introduced to the west. He studied it in India. I started reading my own palm and realized that filipinos already have a word for it. “Kapalaran (fate)” is proof, I think, that we pinoys already knew about this subject eons ago before it was introduced to the west. We have a lot of words that came from Sanskrit, I think, and even baybayin looks like a branch of this ancient writings. I was in church once and was really shocked that the priest said that these things are taboo. Huh??? For me that’s a big mistake cause reading about these things opened a lot of doors for me. They are all connected and are saying the same things. I believe all are synchronized.
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Mel Vera Cruz is a multimedia artist. He migrated to the US from the Philippines in 1995 and is based in the Bay Area. With a background in graphic design and advertising, he incorporates painting and screen printing techniques along with use of readily available materials. His work has been shown in solo and group shows throughout the Bay Area as well as Manila. He is also part of the Filipino art collective Epekto Art Projects based in San Francisco, California.